The Dirty Dirt….

Okay, so I may be reviewing books that have been out for a long, long time…..but as I’ve only just discovered them, so maybe some readers out there are the same. In any case, this book is part of my trip back in time to the 80s rock scene. You can see other related posts here and here.

So here’s my latest review….


The Dirt – Motley Crue

Having recently read the excellent Dirty Rocker boys by Bobbie brown, I thought I’d spend some of my Amazon Kindle vouchers on purchasing The Dirt by Motley Crue. It’s always good to get the other side of the story where possible, and after reading Bobbie’s book, I was intrigued to learn more about the guys from the Crue. I’d already read the Heroin Diaries by Nikki Sixx and the truth was, I ended up quite liking the guy. His chapters were easily the best ones in this book, however the others didn’t fare that well… where do I begin?

Let’s begin with Vince Neil.  This book makes him come across as total dirt. He’s cheated on every woman he’s ever had, betrayed ever person he could ever call a friend, killed someone (and then bitched about how badly off he was afterwards…..whining on for sentences about how hard his life was in the aftermath, without ever mentioning the other people in the other car again), let down his family, his friends, himself; all while trying to justify his actions. He called the car crash an accident. How is it an accident when you’re off your face on booze and drugs? Or driving like an idiot and doing 70 in a 25 zone? He literally comes across as the most self-centred, spoiled, egotistical brat on the face of the earth. The only time I felt any sympathy whatsoever for him was when his little 4 year old girl died (very, very sad story). He could have taken something utterly tragic and it could have made him a better person; made him take stock of his life and turn his ass around but I don’t think he did, I don’t think he ever will.  He may be an outstanding front man, but he is one selfish, self-important shit. Safe to say, his chapters in the book and the way others spoke about him did not endear him to me. At all.


Tommy Lee doesn’t come off looking much better. He’s not an arrogant prick like Vince Neil and I can see that he has a good personality and maybe a good heart from what I read, but seriously this guy’s favourite line is something about “…..never in my life would it have occurred to me to hit a chick..” just before he hits chicks. I’m not saying it’s okay that Pamela Anderson hit him (it really wasn’t), but to kick her when she was carrying their son? And then push her? Nice guy! This is after what I’d read in Bobbie’s book about how he attacker her in front of her daughter. Then he complains about being perceived as a wife beater. Hmmm.


Mick Mars comes across as mostly okay although he seems to consider himself enlightened and everyone else pretty much stupid because they don’t have the secret cool knowledge that he does. But that’s okay, he’s also one of the sanest guys in the band and his battle against his illness is talked about candidly and the ‘grey ghost’ concept done really well. His chapters are few and far between though, almost as though he thought it beneath him or just couldn’t be bothered.


These guys were real asshole in the day – beating up men, women and cops just because. Knocking a woman’s teeth out and leaving her bleeding on the sidewalk. Making babies all over the place but never being straight or sober enough to raise them. Drink, drugs, parties, fights, arrests, rape, violence, theft, guns, killings, vandalism, cheating, lying, jail…….for a long time, this was the world of the guys in Motley Crue.  They thought they were rock gods, but they were just overgrown kids with parent issues and insecurities and no place to call home.

I still have a soft spot for Nikki though.


I wish I could say I liked this book, after all, I’ve always liked the music. The truth is though, I rolled my eyes at when they talked about how many drugs they did how often, or which musical instrument they inserted into which woman’s body part….they seem to think that their wild lifestyles were what made them cool and ‘legendary’. They’d be wrong. It was what made them thoughtless, selfish, inconsiderate assholes who people didn’t want to be around. They used people, they abused their partners, wives and girlfriends, they abused themselves and each other and all in the name of being one of the coolest rock bands to rule the sunset strip.  It made for very entertaining reading indeed, it just left a sour taste in my mouth…..they did some seriously questionable, illegal, horrible immoral things and then seemed pleased with themselves about it. They’re unapologetic, still full of shit and the only redeeming quality is that now they’re mostly clean and have maybe (hopefully) seen the errors of their ways.

Unbelievable tales of debauchery await you if you fancy giving this a read.


I support the #WeAreTheThey movement and here’s why….

Social media has been taken by storm recently by the hashtag #WeAreTheThey. If you don’t know what this is, let me explain.


UK has-been pop-star and television presenter/personality Jamelia recently said during a discussion on the TV show Loose Women:

I think everyone should have access to lovely clothes, BUT I do not think it’s right to facilitate people living an unhealthy lifestyle.  I don’t believe stores should stock clothes below or above a certain weight. They should be made to feel uncomfortable when they go in and can’t find a size.

After an outcry on social media, she ‘apologised’ on breakfast television:

I didn’t make it clear on the show that I was talking about extremes … above a size 20 and below a size 6. Everyone has a right to feel wonderful and feel beautiful and it was never my intention to make people feel any less than what they are.

 I would just like to say in response to that – too late, Jamelia. Too late. You offended me and definitely upset me. Here’s why.

They should be made to feel uncomfortable when they go in and can’t find a size”
I already feel very uncomfortable. Sometimes just getting the bravado up to step outside and out into the world takes everything I’ve got. Especially on a night out when people I’ve never met in my life (usually drunken men) should things like “You fat cow, I’d go home now if I were you!” or “You fat fucking bitch!”

Yes, I am fat. Not sure I deserve pure abuse from people who don’t know me in the street though. So yes, Jamelia. I feel uncomfortable. I shop online with Yours Clothing or Evans or New Look plus size. Recently I just started going into the actual stores (Yours have an online and store presence now and their clothes really are amazing).  So some of the discomfort and shame has gone out of my shopping for clothes experience. But you, you’d have that put back into my life because I don’t fit in with what you consider to be a ‘normal’ range of 6-20.

Are you right? No. People come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Some of them could probably do something to change it, some not. But it’s not your call and if they don’t want to – what has that got to do with you?


“I was talking about extremes … above a size 20 and below a size 6”
Who are you to set the boundaries of what is, or isn’t acceptable? So a petite woman of 5 ft 1 who is naturally slender and takes a size 4 shouldn’t be able to get clothes easily? What control has she over the shape and size of her body?? I have a cousin who eats like a horse but was so thin at one point she had to shop at Tammy Girl for 12-13 year old clothes. She couldn’t do a damn thing about her high metabolism and weight, no matter what she tried. Why shouldn’t she have access to clothes? It isn’t a health issue; it’s just the way she is.

Above a size 20 isn’t abnormal or extreme. Who died and let you set the limits of acceptability? You are talking about real people, and you aren’t facilitating an unhealthy lifestyle! An example of extreme might be someone who weight 40 stones and hasn’t moved in years and is slowly dying….that’s extreme. But guess what? That person still deserves fucking clothes! Because for all their faults, failings and issues – they’re still a person. It’s still someone’s beloved family member, wife, husband, daughter, son, best friend…..not everyone can be perfect like you, Jamelia. Some people are just born to battle their weight their whole life. They don’t need a judgemental person like you making it worse.

“It was never my intention to make people feel any less than what they are”
Yes it was. You haven’t properly apologised or admitted that you’re wrong. You truly think that people who fit into your ‘extremes’ category don’t deserve the same rights are ‘normal’ people. Tell me, how would you feel if the world went back to one entrance for white people and one entrance round the back for people of colour? Exactly. You are promoting segregation.

At this point, I would like to make it abundantly clear that I am not racist, although I was accused of being jealous and racist towards Jamelia because I disagreed with her on Twitter and had the cheek to post this photo with the hastag #WeAreTheThey.


A guy started sending tweets to me that were generally abusive and insulting. He then went on to insult other people backing the cause because he agrees with Jamelia:


I honestly believe that nobody in this world has the right to judge another human being unless it’s in a court of law. If you don’t like what you see, that’s your problem, your issue and if you want to voice your opinion, fine. But to attack one individual on social media and insult them because of the way they look? That just smacks of narrow mindedness and intolerance.

I know that to some extent, we all judge. I know I’ve written an article on here about how 80s rockers have aged and how they look now. But those are just my observations, not an open attack and barrage of name calling and insults.

So there you go, Sean from Enderby, your 15 minutes of fame. I wonder if any female in your family is overweight and what she would think if she knew about the hateful bile you spout on Twitter and Youtube? I’m willing to bet you wouldn’t admit to running the toxic accounts you run and which actually  has inspired this account:


Anyway, not long after all of this happened, I noticed I was getting new followers; fellow women of plus size. I followed back and started looking through all the beautiful photos under the #WeAreTheThey hasgtag. I was stunned by how many beautiful women there are out there who are carrying some extra weight and getting labelled as an ‘extreme’ because of it. They aren’t extreme – they’re just different to you. We’re different to you; we are The They.


This social media campaign is the brainchild of the hugely inspirational Debz from The Non-So Secret Diary of a Wannabe Princess. Quite Frankly, she’s my hero at the moment. She’s fearless, outspoken, confident, secure, happy, gorgeous, glamorous and fat. She won’t be offended that I said that, because she is.  She knows she is. I’m fat and I know it too, but guess what? It’s not hurting any of you. It’s none of your damned business.

So the next time you decide to get on your high horse, Jamelia and judge people based on their body shape or appearance, I suggest you stop and look in a mirror. Take a good long look at yourself.

Are you perfect? No, thought not. You’re just human….like the rest of us. The only difference is, us ‘extreme’ fatties spend our time building other women up and trying to be supportive and encouraging without passing judgement.  You should try it sometime.


Book Review: The Road Through Wonderland by Dawn Schiller




Dawn Schiller is a survivor.

It’s so easy to just casually drop the line that Dawn was the product of a ‘broken home’ and ‘tough neighbourhood’, but what does that really mean? For Dawn, it meant living in fear with feelings of isolation and loneliness. It meant the loss of beloved family members and with that, the security and love they gave her. It meant being propelled into the unknown with no support and the realisation that she didn’t seem to matter to anyone. Living this way in an increasingly violent neighbourhood with a mother who struggled and became desperate and took her frustrations out on Dawn is what was primarily responsible for Dawn leaving Florida for LA. There, she met John Holmes, the legendary porn star who was as famous for his movies as he was being involved in the Wonderland killings, and later famous for dying of AIDS.


Dawn was just 15 years old when John took a shine to her and offered her all the things she was lacking in life – safety, security, affection and love. This book is a love story in the beginning. At the start, John was upbeat, fun, happy – all the things that had been lacking in dawn’s life. Further down the line however, drugs entered into the equation and he became something else entirely, dragging Dawn along with him. She endured physical and mental abuse so severe that it’s a marvel she made it out at all. But she did, and the result it this compelling, inspirational story.

I found this book impossible to put down. For a tale where one of the main characters is a porn star, there is a surprising lack of sex in these pages, which is a good thing as there is a darker tale to tell. At one point, Dawn is fleeing for her life as contract killers are out gunning for her – none of this is her doing and all to do with the dark path that John takes (drags??) her down.

She has to fight for her life again and again but she never did give up and is here today to tell her story.


With a foreword by Val Kilmer and Kate Bosworth (Johnny & Dawn in the move Wonderland), this book is written in a truly engaging way. Dawn is honest, open and owns up to her own flaws and weaknesses. She doesn’t place blame solely at John’s feet but instead owns up to where she went wrong. She wasn’t perfect but the fact of the matter is that Holmes took advantage of her and mad her feel she has no choice but to stay with him. The Wonderland killings changed everything. To this day, the extent of John’s involvement remains a mystery. Read the book and see what your take is on everything. Even though this book is uplifting towards the end, get your tissues at the ready.

Hard-hitting, disturbing, inspirational – this book is all of those things and more. I challenge you to read it and not be moved.

More Dawn:

Marie Claire Interview – click here.
Dawn’s website – click here.
E.S.T.E.A.M. Dawn’s non-profit organisation, click here.
Dawn on Facebook, click here.